It is so fucking hot!

This is a post to complain about the amazing weather we are having here in the UK. Me and a friend were talking the other day, yea I have a friend, at least one, about the weather and how shit it has been for the past few weeks at the weekends. Now we all know this is because industry works all week, creating some delicious stuff and blowing it out of their chimneys into the atmosphere and then when it settles downs over the weekend, it rains down on us like we shouldn't enjoy the weekend.

Now we are having amazing weather, everyone is moaning about that as well. Now, I am English and live in England so I was wondering if this is the same in other countries? Do people just moan constantly wherever you are in the world. I know that we have Germans, Americas and a lot of other countries represented here so tell me what you guys do.

Maybe it is just because we know we will get sunburn to all fuck now so we have to stay indoors or something. i dunno, I think we are just a bunch of whiny bastards, let me know if you are too and share this around so we can get a poll going about who is the biggest whiners in the world, I am sure it is us! We moan about everything, even queue, not while queuing but we damn sure do afterwards!

Something interesting about holidays this summer

This blog post is going to attack the subject of holidays from two different angles. Firstly, why we have holidays, secondly, why people we know hate us having holidays. I am not saying this opinion is fact (unlike many other places on the internet) I am just saying this opinion is as close to right as fucking possible.

The first attack: why we have holidays.

The reason we have holidays is simple, the Victorians invented them. Queen Victoria thought it was cool to go to a beach a few days a years and at the time, people still gave a shit about what royalty thought. So society decided that it was a good idea to go to the beach for a holiday. That is why, in most seaside towns in the UK, the oldest buildings you can find there are Victorian. This doesn’t apply to port towns, just the ones that have nothing going for them.

Oh, the other reason is, we basically aren’t slaves to anyone any more. So, to spend some free time (that we don’t have), extra money (that we don’t have) and some good times with the family (that doesn’t happen), we need to go and be by a beach.

The second attack: why the people we know hate us going on holiday.

I am sure that you all have experienced someone you know telling you about something fucking horrendous happening in a place close by to your holiday destination. It has happened to me a lot and happened to someone I know on Facebook about a minute ago (the reason for this article). The people that point this bad shit out to you are not trying to help. They are trying to make you have a shit holiday.

But Scott, why would my friends do such a thing, don’t they like me? Well, blog reader who doesn’t know my name so it’s weird that you know my name, the answer is simple. They aren’t going on holiday and you are so they fucking hate you! They hate that while they are working the job they only work to afford to go on holiday, you will be living their dream, sipping cocktails on a beach or getting a tattoo and things inserted into in Thailand, ah the memories!

Happy holidays, if you found this article funny, interesting, helpful in constructing your evil plan or anything else then, you know the rules, you have to share it. If you didn’t then follow along until you find an article you do like and then share that.