Something interesting; smelly feet

I just had to write an article about foot health, I know, I am living every writers dream! Well, I found it interesting and now I want to discuss smelly feet. I am sure that we all get smelly feet from time to time, whether that is from being lazy and wearing the same socks two day in row or because we have been active and our feet have been sweaty, or a combination of the two, which I am going to pretend only happens at festivals but we all know that’s a load of bullshit, I am here to help, just call me the foot doctor.

Smelly feet are bad mmmkay, (nice impression in your head there, yep, I can read minds too) they smell fucking horrendous, have you ever been in someone’s house and you can smell them every fucking where? I have (hi mum) (that was a joke) (I’m in fucking trouble). The causes of smelly feet are basically what I said above, go and reread that. Sweaty, unclean, dirty bastard feet, you didn’t have to reread that, haha wasted your time!

If you suffer from the condition of smelly feet, it is NOT a condition, we won’t give you money. All you have to do is, wash your fucking feet. That’s about it, wash them like men do their naughty parts before a date (I don’t know if women do that too as I am a man, I think women are probably just generally cleaner than men during daily life but that is probably a topic for another blog and another day). So, clean your feet like you clean your balls, or your egg carrying parts, dry your feet like you dry a wet dog, quickly and thoroughly, change your socks like you change your pants, if you don’t change your pants leave now please and that’s pretty much all you got to do.

There is probably a lot more that you can do to not have smelly feet. Probably not wearing the same shoes for a year would help, I am not an expert though, I am just an idiot with a computer, oh the free world and the way we live aye!

You know the rules, if you found this article interesting, funny or anything else, share it with your friends. If you didn’t, follow the blog until you do find an article you think is worth sharing and then share that one! See you tomorrow.  

Something interesting about an itch

I got to thinking the other day about itches, after scratching my head for a few moments, pun, I decided that I should write an article about itching. Now, if you have begun to scratch because of reading the word itch, I am sorry but I am feeling the same writing it so to understand what an itch is, we must control the itch, this is becoming far too karate kid!

What is an itch. 

There are a couple of theories as to why we itch. The first one goes something like this, animals itch to get parasites out of their fur and off their skin. Our itching is simply a carryover from this instinct. We itch because we were once apes, damn dirty, parasite infested apes! doesn’t that make you want a shower!

The second theory is a little more fancy, basically, the theory is that the feeling of pain and the feeling of an itch engage many of the same areas of the brain. When you scratch an itch, you are causing yourself just enough pain to relieve the itch. 

Apparently, an itch is best left unscratched but I don’t buy that. What if your skin is crawling with parasites right this second and that itch you aren’t scratching is the only thing that can get rid of them? you’re going to scratch it, right? 

Well, I hope that last paragraph made you look crazy on your commute to work. You know the rules, if you found out something new, found the article interesting or in this case, just want to make your friends itch then share it with them. See you tomorrow for something else interesting.

Something interesting about coffee and calcium

As I was having one of many coffees the other day, I began thinking that I was drinking far too much coffee. It came to me when my heart began this weird dance in my chest. I got to thinking about packing it all in but then I realised, my coffees are my only source of calcium a day! I don’t eat cereal, because I’m not a child and I barely eat cheese because of the scary monsters that live under my bed.

This then got me thinking, how much calcium do we actually need per day? Oh and also why the fuck am I still paying attention to the idea that calcium makes your bones stronger? That’s what my mum said when I was a kid, she also said stuff about going blind yet I didn’t take that advice on board!

The recommended daily intake of calcium is between 1,000 and 1,200 milligrams a day. Unless your pregnant or lactating, that doesn’t and will never apply to me, but if it does to you then give yourself 1,500 milligrams.

What the fuck that all means.

There is about 275 milligrams of calcium in a cup of milk. I know this because I just googled it. So in order for me to get the right amount of calcium into my body, to make my bones nice and strong, I need to drink 3.6 cups of milk per day. If I were to continue to use my coffee as a way of ingesting my daily calcium intake, I would need to drink about 7 cups of coffee a day, yes my coffee is half full of milk, don’t judge me, you’re just as weird as I am.

So, if like me, you want to get your recommended daily intake of calcium and use a fun way of doing it, drink 7 cups of coffee a day and bounce around the fucking walls all day and annoy anyone you come into contact with.

Well, this just goes to show how wrong you can be. I turned to the internet for advice, worrying about my calcium intake and now I find that I need to drink even more coffee rather than giving it up! At least I know and have dodged a bullet! Hopefully you have learnt something today about calcium and have dodged a bullet yourself!

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