Something interesting about selfies

I am quite partial to taking a few photos here and there, not of myself as I look like a bags of wet cats with acne and an attitude but of other things. Now most photographers, beginners and pros, will tell you that you spend more time in front of the computer than you do behind your camera. This time is spent editing the colours, cropping and playing around with your photos to make them just right to show to the world, the world that doesn’t care.

As I was sitting in front of my computer the other day, I stumbled across the clarity tool! A really cool tool that allows you to make stuff look really old and horrible, if you push it towards the right. However, if you push it towards the left, something terrible happens. Your photo begins to look more and more like all of the selfies on Facebook that people take when they are bored.

See for yourself, you can get editing apps on your phone that can do it, you know the ones, they are the ones that the girls on your Facebook page use.

What the fuck this means

This means, simply, everyone knows that the selfie you just took spontaneously, wasn’t a spontaneous as you say it was. It was edited to within an inch of its life because you don’t want to people to see the real you yet you do want the world to give you some attention.

I get that showing the world the real you is tough, the world is a scary place, the internet being the most scary place in the world. However, please understand that everyone knows what you are doing and everyone is talking about it, whether they comment saying how beautiful you are or not, we are all talking about it and we all know your little secret.

Just the tip (a tip and a penis joke)

If you are taking a photo with an unshaven guy in it and you try and use this app, your cover will be blown. An airbrushed looking beard is a bit of a give away.

The outcome

Using these sorts of apps is a sign that you need attention every moment of the day, even the moments when you don’t feel you look your best. I respect that a lot of us get bored throughout the day, why do you think I am writing this and avoiding doing real work? But understand that everyone is being nice, we know what you’re doing and know why you’re doing it. If you are cool with that then I guess we have to be as well, but it won’t stop smart arses like me writing blogs about you and hiding behind their words on the internet!

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